From A Declaration of Egregious Popishe Impostures by Samuel Harsnet (1603)
How were our children, old women, and maidens afraid to crosse a Churchyeard, or a three-way leet, or to goe for spoones in the Kitchin without a candle? and no marueile. First, because the deuil comes from a smoakie blacke house, he, or a lewd friar was still at hand, with
ougly hornes on his head,
fire in his mouth,
a cowes tayle in his breech,
eyes like a bason,
fangs like a dogge,
clawes like a Beare,
a skinne like a Neger,
and a voyce rearing like a Lyon;
then boh, or oh, in the dark was enough to make their haire stand upright. And if that a bowle of curds and creame were not duly set out for Robin Goodfellow the Frier, and Sisse the dairy-maide, to meete at hinch pinch, and laugh not, when the good wife was abed, why then, either the pottage was burnt to next day in the pot, or the cheese would not curdle, or the butter would not come, or the ale in the fat would neuer haue good head. But if a Peter-penny, or an houzle-egge were behind, or a patch of tyth unpaid to the Church (Jesu Maria) then ware where you walke for feare of
bull-beggers,
spirits,
witches,
urchins,
Elues,
hags,
fairies,
Satyrs,
Pans,
Faunes,
Syluans,
Kit with the candlesticke,
Tritons,
Centaurs,
Dwarffs,
Giants,
impes,
Calcars,
coniurers,
Nymphs,
changlings,
scritchowles,
Incubus,
the spurne,
the mare,
the man in the oake,
helwayne,
the fire-drake,
the puckle,
Tom thumbe,
hobgoblin,
Tom-tumbler,
Boneles,
and the rest: and what girle, boy, or old wisard would be so hardy to step ouer the threshold in the night for an half-penny worth of mustard amongst this frightfull crue, without a dozen aue-maries, two dosen crosses surely signed, and halfe a dosen Pater Nosters, and the commending himselfe to the tuition of S. Uncumber, or els our blessed Lady?
These be the Popes, and his holy Legats, and those of his holy mission, and commission from hell, their frightful crue, theyr black-guard, with which they work wonders, amongst a faithlesse, sencelesse generation: these shoute about them, attend them, and are of theyr guard, and trayne, wheresoeuer they goe, or walke, as Styx, Phlegeton, and the Eumenides doe guard Aeacus in hell: with these they worke their wonders, making
Images to speake,
vautes to sound,
trunks to carry tales,
Churchyeards to swarme,
houses to rush, rumble, and clatter with chaynes,
high-waies, old graues, pittes, and woods ends to be haunted with
lights, owles and poakers;
and with these they adrad, and gaster senceless old women, witlesse children, and melancholike dottrels, out of their wits.
These Monster-swarmes his Holiness and his helly crue haue scraped, and raked together out of
old doating heathen Historiographers,
wisardizing Augurs,
imposturizing Southsayers,
dreaming Poets,
Chimerial conceiters,
and coyners of fables,
such as puffe up our young gallants with big lookes, and bombast phrases, as the booke of Lancelot du Lake, Guy of Warwicke, The Mirror of Knighthoode, Amadis de Gaule, and such like their Legends; out of these they conceit their monstrous shapes, ugly bug-beares, hydeous apparitions of ghosts: out of these they conforme their
charmes,
enchauntments,
periapts,
amulets,
characters,
wast coates,
and smockes of proofe, against
hayle,
thunder,
lightning,
biting of mad dogges,
gnawing of Rats,
against botches,
biles,
crosbiting,
sparrow-blasting,
Owle-hunting,
and the like.
Out of these is shaped us the true Idaea of a Witch, an olde weather-beaten Croane,
hauing her chinne, and her knees meeting for age,
walking like a bow leaning on a shaft,
hollow eyed,
untoothed,
furrowed on her face,
hauing her lips trembling with the palsie,
going mumbling in the streets,
one that hath forgotten her pater noster, and hath yet a shrewd tongue in her head, to call a drab, a drab. If shee haue learned of an olde wife in a chimnies end: Pax, max, fax, for a spel: or can say Sir John of Grantams curse, for the Millers Eeles, that were stolne: All you that haue stolne the Millers Eeles, Laudate dominum de caelis: And all they that haue consented thereto, benedicamus domino: Why then ho, beware, looke about you my neighbours; if any of you haue
a sheepe sick of the giddies,
or an hogge of the mumps,
or an horse of the staggers,
or a knauish boy of the schoole,
or an idle girle of the wheele,
or a young drab of the sullens,
and hath not fat enough for her porredge, nor her father, and mother, butter enough for their bread; and she haue a little helpe of the Mother, Epilepsie, or Cramp, to teach her
role her eyes,
wrie her mouth,
gnash her teeth,
startle with her body,
hold her armes and hands stiffe,
make anticke faces,
girne, mow, and mop like an Ape,
tumble of gibridg,
as obus, bobus: and then with-all old mother Nobs is the Witch: the young girle is Owle-blasted, and possessed: and it goes hard, but ye shal haue some
idle,
adle,
giddie,
lymphaticall,
illuminate
dottrel, who being out of
credite,
learning,
sobriety,
honesty,
and wit,
wil take this holy aduantage, to raise the ruines of his desparate decayed name, and for his better glory wil be-pray the iugling drab, and cast out Mopp the deuil.
They that haue their braines baited, and their fancies distempered with the imaginations, and apprehensions of Witches, Coniurers, and Fayries, and all that Lymphatical Chimera: I find to be marshalled in one of these fiue rankes,
children,
fooles,
women,
cowards,
sick, or blacke, melancholicke, discomposed wits.
The Scythians being a warlike Nation (as Plutarch reports) neuer saw any visions.
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